The Solo Travel Lesson I Didn’t See Coming
For years, whenever I thought of the archetype of a solo traveler, a certain character popped into my mind.
This character is what we’d refer to as a free spirit. Someone who jumps into adventure headfirst. Their answer is always a definitive yes, not a ‘let me circle back.’ They’re happily committed to the same rotating three outfits, shunning material possessions and rent in exchange for an Osprey 70-liter backpack. And, for some reason, they’re always wearing those really comfortable-looking flowy pants (you know the ones).
In short, it was a person I felt I had nothing in common with.
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n the weeks before I boarded my plane and locked my belongings in storage, I shrugged off the image I imagined others were placing on me when they learned about my upcoming adventure. I rejected the idea that being a solo traveler meant you couldn’t have a plan. I’ve always been the friend you lean on for well-researched lists of travel recommendations, top restaurants and the best ways to see a city.
I had everything mapped out when I decided it was my time to take the leap. Here was the plan: snorkel in the turquoise waters that peppered my Pinterest board, drink jewel-toned wine while staring out at endless rows of vines, eat steamy bowls of soup on tiny stools next to the ones Bourdain sat on a decade ago.
But on a boat in the Indian Ocean — somewhere between what I had mapped out and what actually unfolded — I realized the plan was never the point.
Sunrise view during my 3-day boat trip around Komodo island, part of the Lesser Sunda chain of Indonesian islands.
Over icy-cold Bintangs and popsicle-colored sunsets that cameras never seemed to properly capture, I found that the best parts of my trip were the surprises. The people I randomly chose to sit next to for the evening. The makeshift map a generous winemaker drew on the back of a tasting menu. The days filled with girl chats on the beach that unfolded naturally after meeting strangers during a snorkeling excursion. What chance did my plans really stand against kismet? My favorite memories were made possible by the space I left between the bullets of my well-thought itinerary.
To be a solo traveler is to trust that what exists around the corner might be even better than what you see straight ahead.
In today’s corporate America — where we work 40+ hour weeks to earn 12 days of vacation a year — the itinerary can feel crucial. Hop on TikTok and you’ll find thousands of videos on the best things to eat in Rome, the top sights in Madrid, the best-of-the-best of it all. We want to maximize precious time when we set our OOOs and log off. The mistake is thinking that having a plan means locking every second of your day in place.
I’ve found that the trips that stay with you are planned enough to feel safe and resourced, leaving room for the unexpected to surface. This is where my passion for finding hidden-treasure hotels, off-the-grid experiences and meals worth writing home about comes into play. Knowing what hike to explore in the morning or where to grab a special dinner didn’t ruin my trip; it created the ease that made those moments of surprise possible.
This is how I want to help people plan their trips — not to the minute, but with just enough structure and intention. That way, you feel grounded and ready to say yes when something deliciously unexpected shows up.
